


http://id7.fm-p.jp/40/karineko

by brightblackbird



Category: Dragon Ball, Rookies - Morita Masanori & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bad Opinions, Canon - Manga, Characters Writing Fanfiction, M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:46:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9340394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightblackbird/pseuds/brightblackbird
Summary: Imaoka's dark past comes to light.(Warning: contains very bad and controversial Dragonball opinions)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had some running headcanon about Mr. Satan being Imaoka's first crush and him liking Karin while Hiratsuka liked Yajirobe and refused to accept that Karin and Yajirobe were married in canon. So I finally did something with that.
> 
> (Imaoka's ships are KarinYajirobe and SatanOC because he can't self-insert onto Buu. I fully support SatanBuu and can't be held responsible for his bad opinions.)

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Dude  
I found your shitty old phone  
You're logged into this fucking internet phone web thing  
Listen to this  
"Wow" said Mr Satan, "I can't believe I forgot you existed for an entire story arc." "It's okay" replied his manager and best friend who had known him way longer than Majin Buu. "I know you were busy."  
"How can I ever make it up to you now that we are back together and Buu had to go away forever." Mr Satan asked, looking very caring and handsome because he really did care even if it was hard to tell sometimes  
Did you write this

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
maybe

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Hahahahahahahaha

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
don't read any more of that

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Hahahahahahahahaha

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i was 10

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Hahahahahahaha  
Why did you keep this  
You did not have a fucking phone when you were 10 that was the dark ages

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i wrote it when i was 10  
in a journal

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
stop reading if you don't like it

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Does this seriously have 12 parts  
You wrote a 12 part story about some guy you made up being really good friends with Mr Satan  
Were you the most bored 10 year old ever

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i didn't know you yet  
so yes  
i liked the show, i watched it a lot

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Why did you put this on a fucking internet webpage 3 years later

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i found the notebook and i wanted to keep it

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Hahahahahahaha  
WJY  
I MEAN WHY

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
it reminded me of something  
i added some parts too

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
What in your life reminded you of being some boring guy hanging out with Mr Satan

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't know  
it was kind of a metaphor

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You should have made a metaphor where you hung out with the character who's like ME  
Guess who that is

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't know

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
GUESS

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't know  
the pig who turned into different things

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
NO YOU IDIOT  
GOKU  
I'm the HERO  
Sometimes I'm dead but I always come back to save the day

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
oh

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
What pig are you talking about there was no pig  
It was a cat that changed into things

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
no the cat lived on a tower  
he raised magic beans

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
NO he definitely changed into things

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
there was also a blue thing that looked like a cat and changed into other things  
yamcha's friend

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Oh yeah her

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
the blue thing was a boy

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Uh no she was not

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
and then there was a pig that changed into things  
the pig wore overalls usually

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Shut up nerd  
That was a child who lived with the old turtle man  
Probably his grandson

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
no, he was a pig

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
You are very confused  
I don't remember a cat that raised beans you're thinking of the sword guy

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
the sword guy moved in with the cat and they raised beans together  
i think they were married

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
What the fuck are you saying to me  
The sword dude kicked ass and he was not married to a cat  
He had a flying car and the beans were his

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
no, he lived with the cat  
the cat could talk and it had legs, it wasn't weird or anything  
i wrote a story about them once

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
WHY????  
WERE YOU DREAMING ABOUT GROWING UP TO BE A BEAN FARMER

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't know  
they were friends. i liked them

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Why would a man with a flying car marry a CAT  
There were a bunch of hotties running around he must have married one of them  
Like GOku's hot wife  
She kicked ass too that's why I'm Goku  
I have the best taste in women  
Hey who would you be if you were there  
Oh I know you're the bald one

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
his name was krillin

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
No Krillin had a hot wife  
You're not Krillin you're the other one  
The vampire one

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
goku didn't know any vampires.

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
YES HE DID the one with all the arms  
The white one  
Or maybe he was just dead  
He could fly

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
they could all fly  
you mean tenshinhan and chaozu, they were two different characters

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Yeah them  
You're the little one  
The worse one

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
why do you get to be goku if i don't even get to be krillin

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Because I am the man  
FUCK it went away when I clicked the next part  
No wait the website's still there I'm just logged out  
What's this x mean  
Yajirobe x Karin like that

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't remember  
don't open that one, it's not interesting

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
What does the x mean you fucking liar

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
it's a sideways plus sign

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Were those the fucking bean farmers  
Didn't you write any stories about Goku punching people  
What did you have against the bubblegum guy anyway why did he have to leave forever

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i wrote my story before i watched that part and he didn't fit  
he ruined the story

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
What is WRONG with you the bubblegum guy was the man  
Remember he had a dog and he could eat people

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i didn't like him  
i thought you said goku was the man

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
They are all the man  
Except the little pointy guy he sucked

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
freeza?

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
NO not Freeza  
The terrible one who couldn't beat Goku

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
piccolo

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
NO PICCOLO WAS THE MAN

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
vegeta

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
YEAH HIM  
The shitty one who didn't know he was shitty  
If there's one thing I can't stand it's guys with no sense of self-awareness  
That guy never shut up  
'Oh boo hoo Goku's the man and I'm not and I can't accept my place in the world'  
You know how much I hate guys who don't know when to shut up

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i know  
vegeta doesn't call him goku

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
LISTEN  
Goku is the man  
But I also am a man and I don't have the time in my adult life to remember what Goku's fake-ass vegetable name was  
His name is Goku  
Ok I'm gonna get back to the rest of your masterpiece now  
Brace yourself  
What the fuck  
WHERED IT GO

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i don't know  
the website must have expired

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
YOU COWARD  
HOW DID YOU EVEN REMEMBER THE PASSWORD  
CAN YOu show me how to do that I always forget mine

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
it was a really old website, you must have used up the bandwidth  
where did you find that phone

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Can't I dig through your stuff without you assuming the worst  
I was looking for something and realized you probably stole it

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
what was it

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Now I don't remember  
I know you stole it though

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i didn't steal it  
i don't even know what it is

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
THEN YOU CANT PROVE YOU DIDNT STEAL IT  
CHECKMATE  
Give it back the second you remember where you put it or I'll be forced to kick your ass

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
fine.

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
That's more like it  
Hey did you know anyone in grade school who could do that turtle thing Goku does  
I always wanted to see somebody do it

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i always figured you would be the guy who told everyone he could do the kamehamaha

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Actually yeah I did do it once myself when I was alone  
I just thought it would be cool to see someone else do it so I could polish my own form  
But the guy at my school said he couldn't just show it off like that  
It had too much destructive power  
I don't know where he ended up for middle school  
You're sure you never met anyone who could do it  
??

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i never saw anyone do the kamehameha

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Besides me I mean  
Okay good just checking  
I probably could still do it if I tried

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
try not to do it near my stuff

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Oh yeah you're right I might break THAT THING YOU SHAMELESSLY STOLE FROM ME and that would really suck  
You're so transparent

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
if i figure out what you lost will you let me be krillin

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Oh you'd like that wouldn't you

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
yes  
he was goku's best friend

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Fine you can be Krillin  
IF you find the thing  
Otherwise you're the vampire kid

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
okay  
i'll do my best

**Author's Note:**

> # The specific type of website I was thinking of was one from [Forest Page](http://id.fm-p.jp/index.php?module=usre&action=pasobiguide), which provides you with hosting for a free and easy-to-set-up mobile homepage. Some Japanese fans used it to host their fanfic/fanart in the days before Pixiv, usually those fans without a huge body of work that required more complicated editing on a computer. (It was more useful for fanfiction typed on a phone, but you could also post pictures, so artists without a scanner could use their phone to post something they drew, often in parts since the picture dimensions were limited.)
> 
> Forest Page set up shop in 2003 and Rookies is set in 2001, so let's say the website Imaoka used was just a very similar one.
> 
> # [Goku does in fact know several vampires](http://dragonball.wikia.com/wiki/Vampire)


End file.
